AnubisMut or IsisHathor?
by BlackCat46
Summary: Patricia lives in the two joint houses Anubis and Mut, the girls' wing of the school that has all low ratings. Eddie lives in Isis and Hathor joint houses and he has the good life. When he realises that his girlfriend is mistreated, he concocts a plan to get her moved. (R&R, AU, OOC.) What could go wrong? I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT PLOT!
1. Chapter 1

_Well, now I feel a bit dozy._ I told myself, frowning into the mirror.

My makeup was everywhere, my hair was greasy and my clothes were ratty. I couldn't go to work dressed like this. What kind of rag would I look like then? I'm not trying to be perfect, that's no perfection.

"Are you ready yet, Williamson?!" That stupid American girl, honestly. She's just a prefect, nothing bigger or better.

"Shut it, Martin, I've literally just got outta bed! You go whine to someone who would actually wanna listen!" I yelled, taking comfort in the fact that my boyfriend, who just so happened to be Canadian and nowhere near as annoying as Nina Martin and KT Rush, would be at school with me today.

I used to rely on my friend Joy Mercer to help me out with the two bossy prefects, but now she's joined the cheerleaders and their stupid girlish stunts.

Well, now I have a hate for her too and we usually just yell at each other.

It's a shame the headmaster divided the school. Anubis and Mut houses: Girls' wing. Isis and Hathor houses: Boys wing.

We got it hard. We have Vera Devenish and Victor Rodenmaar. The boys have it so good. They have Old Sweetie, the headmaster who is Eddie's dad and Trudy Rehman, the boys' housemother. She's a fantastic cook, warm and welcoming. She always smiles, I've never seen her upset, even during a massive food fight. She just laughs and joins in, then cleans up all the mess afterward.

We girls are basic sit-down-shut-up-eat-clean. Nothing else. We're sent to bed at ten, we have to make our beds, shower, clean our rooms, neatly fold our fresh pyjamas, never stretch our uniforms and we have to have our PE kits sorted out for our lessons.

Never mind our chores and our homework and our laundry and the fact that we end up tidying up our rooms and whatever mess we leave about.

Vera basically just cooks. She spends her day sat with Victor or she's calling her friends and hating on the boys' housemother just because she never maintains order, is always happy and she cleans up instead of making them tidy up after themselves.

I went down to breakfast to find the clumps of hard porridge in the bowl, the stale coffee, the spore-filled orange juice and the rotten, chunky milk.

I didn't even bother. I walked out and went round to the boys. Their house was filled with pancakes every morning, freshly squeezed out orange juice and toast with all manner of homemade jams. There was also always a fried breakfast.

Eddie answered the door.

"Morning, Yacker. Your house being poisoned again?" He asked, letting me hear that cheeky Canadian voice I could never get enough of.

"Yup. Spores in the orange, chunks in the milk, stale coffee and hard porridge. The usual. And them lot are gonna be ill, scoffing that muck." I told him. I never really whine for the breakfast there, it's more often offered.

Eddie gave me his usual cheeky grin. "I'm sure Trudy will fix something up for a very special guest."

He took me in. I was such a regular guest there, the guys didn't even bother to look up. The housemother did, as always, with her usual beaming smile and hug.

"Hello, sweetheart! I take it you're not eating the poison over at the girls' houses?" She asked, tutting a bit at the thought. "If only I had you all over here. You'd be fed. And what would you like?"

See? This is why I like it here.

Eddie spoke up. "She'll just have her usual, hmm, Yacker?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice, thanks, Trudy." I agreed. She patted a seat and went into her kitchen. Eddie and I sat down. I loved the boys' wing. The house was so cheerful, but not pep squad cheerful. More like pictures and nicely decorated walls.

I was served a really awesome breakfast and a big grin. I set to eating, I was starving. I usually only ate breakfast, unless Eddie invited me over for supper. I was spoiled when that happened.

I was the only girl who had these special privileges, being the girlfriend of the headmaster's son.

He let me have a proper laugh, gave me chocolates and nobody really minded when I left a chocolate wrapper. It was all good fun when they were balled up and chucked at each other. Kind of like spaghetti nights. The food got chucked about then.

Anything edible got lobbed at someone's head, more often than not. The times I joined in on that fun, the housemother washed my clothes for me. I owe her so much.

Eddie said "Hey, Yackball, we're going to the pool on Saturday. Wanna come? All guys and one woman, but if it makes you feel better, you can come too, save your brain some homework?"

"Thanks, Slimeball. I'll take you up on that." I agreed, smiling, tossing my newly chestnut curls.

We went off to school, enjoying each other's company. We spent our lunch break in Isis and Hathor house, where we were given an amazing lunch of turkey and cheese salad with homemade crisps. I loved that woman's cooking.

I didn't eat my supper, I only looked. There was rotten veg, you could tell by all the brown bits and the difficulty of shoving the fork through it. There was tough and old meat that you couldn't cut through with a chainsaw. There was year old gravy that looked like Tudor slime from the Thames.

Yuck. I didn't eat it, I escaped. I curled in my room and Skyped Eddie.

"Yacker! I take it you weren't fed?" He asked, grinning.

"We were, something Vera had fished out of the Tudor Thames. The others scoffed the lot, but yuck. I never would. And I dunno what you're grinning at, it's OK for you. You've got a brilliant chef in that house. And what did you guys get?"

"We had some special dish that's been passed down in Trudy's family for centuries. It tastes so good, she's known that recipe for years. She even spared some for you, knowing how much you love her food."

"Aw, sweet. Tell her thanks. And anyway, those girls are being even more sour than Vera's food, which is saying something. They're calling me all kinds when nobody's looking. That Nina, she's always calling everyone a really mean word, but I can't say it."

I made my voice sound all childlike to match my words. I never cursed, despite what the others did.

"Aw, you poor thing. I should get Dad to let you move in over here. I bet you'd be really welcome here." Eddie offered.

"Please?" I asked softly.

Eddie's face softened. "You really hate it there, don't you?"

"Yeah. It's awful here." I said, my tone gentle.

"Patricia Williamson!" A voice bellowed and I jumped a mile.

"Gotta go, Cockroach. I'll text you later." I said softly.

"See you, Blabs." Eddie said and hung up. I went to the source of that cruel voice.

It was Amber Millington, school's head cheerleader and the worst nightmare known to the human race.

"Are you still going out with _the_ Eddie Miller?" She asked._  
_

"Yeah, and since when is it _your_ business, Barbara?" I asked, using the name of the Barbie dolls.

"Just because he is the best-looking guy in school and he can do way better than some fat girl who looks _far_ too old for someone like _him_."

I just walked off. She's not worth the waste of my time. If I'd had some water, I would have drenched that brat so well, her hair would have been frizzy for a week. She's a nightmare.

I heard a twang and something hit me in the head and all went dark...


	2. Chapter 2

*Mara's P.O.V.*

Glory is mine! I just hit Militia Patricia, girlfriend of Edison Miller-Sweet in the back of her head with a hairbrush!

I hate that girl, she is stealing my life! She used to date my boyfriend Jerome while he was dating me, but she ditched him as soon as Eddie arrived on the scene and I developed a crush on him, too!

She gets it so good, she even spends her mornings with the boys. Apparently, they aren't fed rotten food and it tastes really nice. We get spores and chunks in our drinks, stale coffee and gross hard cement for breakfast, tough old meat and potatoes that have more tentacles than something out of Doctor Who.

The girls and I have been planning to get rid of Militia Patricia from the second she and Eddie started dating.

We all hate her because she has it so good and we're all being poisoned. Joy got jealous and she joined Amber prep squad and she and Trisha are now mortal enemies.

WAIT! Where did she go?!

*Eddie's P.O.V.*

Someone was hammering at the front door. I ran to get it.

It was my Yackball.

"Yacker? You're early, True's not even started supper yet." I told her.

"I know, but someone gave me a whack in the head with something so I had to do a runner. Did you talk to your dad?" She told me, finishing with an urgent question.

"Yeah, he and True are debating. Anyway, which of the jealous, heartless female toads hit you?" I asked my Yacker, concerned for her.

"It was Mara. Y'know, dark, spooky and cruel? She's basically the negative version of Amber." She replied. I knew something major was going on in that dark house and I wanted my Yacker out of there ASAP.

The guys here have been getting pretty mean, too, so I'm not altogether sure it's safe here for her either. Alfie and Jerome have been so cruel to each other, Ben's been worse, Fabian stopped studying so much and he's hanging with these really bad guys who got expelled more times than I have.

Mick and Sven and Sergei have all been in with Fabian's group and it's beginning to worry the housemother. Only True, Dad, Yacker and I are sane still.

I don't know or like what's going on, but I am gonna find it out and I will fix it.

*Patricia's P.O.V.*

I noticed the tensity and worry in my weirdo's eyes and panicked. Weasel is always calm and cool and collected, I never see that worry and discomfort in his green eyes. Ever.

"Cockroach, tell me everything, now. You know that you'll feel better." I told him, not really letting him choose.

He looked at me.

"OK, Yackball, listen. Everyone here's started acting weird. Fabian, Mick, Sven, Sergei and Ben are all in this bad guys ring, they're all wronged up. And Alfie and Jerome are verbally abusing each other and the lower years. The other guys have been making incriminating photos and sticking them all online."

I knew there was something weird going on her too.

"And what about the two adults here? I know Vera and Victor are fruit loops but what about these two?" I asked, concerned. "They've not been poisoning you?"

"No. True still seems normal, she's cooking naturally and her food's still delicious. Dad hasn't changed. I'm more concerned with you, have you eaten or drank anything Vera's given you?"

"No. That's all still good. I'm avoiding Anubis and Mut house as much as my curfew will allow. I'm just hoping your dad lets me move in here and then I can forget about the evil girls."

"Until then, Blabs, you'll need to keep an eye out for any more suspicious activity, and report to me as much as you can, OK?" He said, making me feel like I was in a spy movie.

"OK, Weasel Face. Just promise me one thing." I said, making myself sound a little more romantic.

"Tell me, freak." He said, giving me another little pet name.

"I want you to make me one of your famous hoagies." I told him, remembering that I was starving.

He grinned. "Come with Eddie, young one, and I will make you the finest of hoagies."

He lead me to the kitchen.

"This is the hoagie base. All the secrets to my hoagie recipe lie within these cupboard walls." He told me, mucking about, making me laugh. It was a stupid impression of a spy service.

As he grabbed a jar, his housemother walked in and took it.

"Uh, no. I'll make supper now, silly boy. Oh, hello, love." She said, finally spotting me.

"Hey, Trudy." I said, smiling back at her. Eddie grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the kitchen.

I swore I heard "Teenagers in love. Never will get over it."

Eddie and I curled up on his bed and started kissing. He always did know how to make a girl feel good.

We heard a squeal and cackling. More squeals, water spraying and cackling.

We ran to see what was going on and I yelled "HEY GUYS! COOKIES IN JEROME AND ALFIE'S ROOM!" The boys all ran. I locked the door behind them.

"Enjoy your nap, boys!" I shouted as Eddie locked bars over the window. No way were they getting out now.

We met up in Eddie's room and kissed passionately. We loved being together so much, it was unreal. We snuggled up until we were called for supper.

We took one look at the food and noticed spores. I gasped. She was one of them now. We had only each other and Eddie's father.

Trudy came to look at the reason I was gasping.

She swallowed. "Oh dear me, no." She said, stunned. "I'm so sorry, loves. I forgot to throw these out last month. I'll fetch you something fresh."

I looked in terror at Eddie. I knew that she'd really meant to give us those. I felt weird little sensations then passed out. I heard "Yacker!" I was blacked out seconds later.


	3. Chapter 3

*Eddie's P.O.V.*

Oh my God, what just happened? My Blabs never just faints! What happened, what happened, what happened, what happened?!

"It's all alright, Eddie, my love, she's coming around." True continued sponging my girlfriend's forehead, looking so concerned, she was close to an explosion.

Yacker looked up. She saw True, gasped, saw me, smiled.

"It's OK, Yackball. You passed out." I told her. Her hand twitched and she looked confused.

"What's going on? I feel all funny..." The beautiful freak on the sofa moaned.

"Funny, how?" I asked at the same time as True.

My Yacker shook her head. "It's stopped. It felt weird. Like my insides were moving a little but in a nice way. It felt... good." She sounded confused.

I was as confused as she was. I grabbed her soft little hand. She looked oddly at True, who was doing something to her.

"Excuse me?" Patty asked, shocked.

True's whole face lit up. "Oh! My little lovelies, give me a second!" She exclaimed and was so happy she was almost bursting.

She shot off like a bullet from a gun while we stared at each other.

"What's got her so happy?" Yacker joked.

"I dunno. You, Miss Yack, need to be sat here and eating some-"

"Prawn cocktail crisps? Please?" She asked, her face all hopeful. I could deny that face nothing. She was just so gorgeous.

I handed her a bag of prawn cocktail crisps and she ate them so quickly, I could swear she was swallowing them whole.

"Want one?" Patricia offered, her face genuinely offering.

I took the crisp, kissed her and ate it. She continued to scoff them. A bubbly and somewhat excited Trudy came back in, skipping in her delight. She's a real girly girl.

"OK, lovelies, I just called the doctors. They want you over there in an hour." She squealed. Then she started out.

"Uh, why?!" Yacker called after her.

"You'll see!" She called back, then Yacker gave me a confused look.

"What is she on?" Yacker asked.

"I dunno, happy gas? She's so weird. Talking of weird, that sensation you keep getting?" I asked her.

"It's back again, my insides are moving about in there and I don't understand it all." She replied, not really focusing well enough.

I was just as bad at focusing on piecing it all together. My freaky blabber was much more concerning.

Dad walked in. "I've decided and I'm having removal men over, collecting your things, Patricia. You're moving in here and you'll have to share with Miss Rehman as she's the only other female in this house."

She grinned. "Fine by me. Eddie and I'll be living in the same house, that's all I really wanted."

I smiled too. If my Yacker was happy, I was happy.

* * *

*Patricia's P.O.V.*

My Weasel and I sat in the waiting room at the doctor's. We were just waiting for them to call us in and let us know what had made my new roommate so happy.

"Patricia Williamson, room twelve, please." The intercom said.

I dragged my Weasel along for the joyride. The doctor greeted us happily.

"Hey, kids. Sit down, please." He offered. We did. "So, what's the problem?"

I said "I've been getting sick a lot and feeling weird sensations."

"And you've had a weird desire for prawn cocktail crisps in the past hour." Eddie added.

"Mm. Oh, that sounds good..." I said, distracted by the thought of those tangy crisps.

The doctor said "OK, well. Where do you get these weird sensations? What do they feel like?"

I replied calmly "Well, here." I rested a hand low against my stomach. "The sensations feel strange, but in a nice way. It feels sorta natural."

Eddie said "Except it isn't. We don't know what it is."

Dear God, that's right. I need some of my prawn cocktail crisps, NOW!

The doctor loaded me onto a bed, with Eddie's help, of course. Eddie would never allow some guy to pick me up and dump me on a bed without his help.

My doctor did some strange stuff to me, talking all sorts of gross things, Eddie replying for me. Then my doctor put some freezing cold gel stuff on me and stuck a wand-y thing in it and swished it about.

"Look on this screen." The doctor told me.

I did and I couldn't believe my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

*Eddie's P.O.V.*

God! Is that what I think it is?! If it is what I think it is, then how are we supposed to tell Dad? I reckon True'll break the news to him for us, or probably already has, the gossip she is. But what?!

Yacker gave me a look. Like "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

I nodded once to her. I was seeing it, all right.

The doctor noticed our stunned looks. Neither of us had known.

"If you look closer, there's not just one, but there's two." He told us both. My freaky girlfriend and I looked at each other in shock.

"You mean, twins?" Even when she's shocked, Blabs still keeps on talking.

"Yes, congratulations." The doctor told us, dying to laugh at our reactions. Well, we weren't making ourselves look subtle, stunned silent.

* * *

When we got back, Blabs and I still stunned, we were received by Trudy and a massive hug.

"Hello, darlings! What's the news?" She asked, excited, knowing only part of the truth.

"You figured it out before we did." Blabs said.

I added "Though there's some even you didn't work out."

True gave us an odd look for a second, then got this look of realisation and she squealed softly.

"Oh, my gosh, no way!" She gasped.

Blabs was fighting the urge to laugh. I said "Oh yeah, way."

True hugged us again. "Aw, my lovelies, you're so lucky!"

Lucky? We were about to become teen parents, how were we lucky?!

"Did you tell Dad?" I asked her. She nodded.

"I thought you'd like to avoid awkward questions like that. And now there'll be twins!"

Wow, this woman loves kids so much, she's excited about the arrival of two babies. What a nutter.

*Patricia's P.O.V.*

I'm still getting over the fact that Eddie and I are going to be parents to little twins. Oh my God. Twins.

No, Williamson, don't you dare go all dizzy, you'll worry them. Stay upright.

Trudy noticed and Eddie held me up.

"Love? Are you alright? Would you like something to eat?" She asked.

"Yeah. Do we have more prawn cocktail crisps?" I asked, desperate for those tangy things.

"Of course, love. You know, I'm going to have to buy more than just twenty twelve packs now, aren't I?" She offered, then went to grab me some.

Eddie put me on the sofa. He also went to get my crisps. I tell you, being a mother is not what I had in mind. A month after these little twins are born, I'm in school. And they're on bottles from birth.

My two little angels. What would I call them? Would I have two daughters or two sons? Would I have a daughter and a son? Yikes. I'll have to pick two names when we find out which we're having.

Wait. I'll need someone to look after my babies while Eddie and I are at school. And what about finding out why all our school mates are bad now?

And how are we supposed to do this now? Two babies, two of us, I doubt Mr Sweet will want to look after his grandchildren and Trudy has more than enough on her plate, I don't trust the other guys, I can't take my kids on a life-threatening mystery and I can't make Eddie go it alone!

I crunched some more tangy crisps. Honestly, they're so yummy, I could eat them forever.

Eddie ran to me. "You'll never guess what just happened to me, Yackball!" He exclaimed.

* * *

**OK, this is crucial. What do you think the Peddie twins should be? Girlxgirl, boyxboy, girlxboy? What should they name them? Who should they look more like? Vote all in review box or PM me. Until next update, Random Dizzy. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

*Patricia's P.O.V.*

"Tell me, Weasel." I told him.

"This random old person came up to me and handed me these and told me one was for you and one was for me. Yours will protect you and the twins against bad forces."

"And yours does what?" I asked, looking at the necklaces. Good planning, old guy, necklaces are popular for guys now.

"I dunno, he just said it'll assist me in my birthright powers." Eddie was as confused as I am.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, still feeling very sarcastic.

"How'm I meant to know, genius? What birthright powers?" He asked me.

"How'm I meant to know, genius?" I mocked him, my accent nowhere near as cool as his.

He always takes that as a chance to say "Your impression is offending. You should totally work on it." This time he just glared at me.

"Yacker, this is a serious matter." He said.

"Oh, yeah, dead serious. An old guy gives you two necklaces, saying one'll ward off dark forces like silver and garlic ward off vampires and werewolves and one assists natural powers and that's serious? As if. You know that's nowhere near realistic. Meanwhile, we still have our babies to worry about."

"Yeah, you're right. And what should we call our kids?" He asked me.

I thought for a minute. I liked Alice for a girl.

"For a girl, I like Alice Miller. What do you think?" I asked, hoping that he'd agree.

"Hmm. Alice is pretty. A middle name... Your nickname." He said, happily.

"Alice Yacker Miller... I like that. What about you?" I asked.

"Well, if we have a son, I like Darren Eric Miller. If we have a daughter, I'm stuck between two. Cathy Isabella or Lilly Marie." He offered. Both sounded super beautiful and my children would have such amazing names.

Just then, the house shook and the sofa slid to the side of the room, and the last thing I heard before all the lights went out and Eddie's arms went around me, was a scream.

* * *

**I got three stunning names. And they are amazing. So if anyone else fancies sending in their thoughts, either review or PM me. I'll put up a poll on the names that I've received before the arrival of the twins. So until next update, Random Dizzy. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

*Patricia's P.O.V.*

"Weasel, what's going on?" I freaked out a little.

"What is the thing?!" He yelled, making me freak a little bit more.

"Slimeball!" I screamed. Trudy stopped dead in the doorway, staring at me.

"Where am I supposed to find it?!" Eddie screamed. I burst into tears. Stupid tears!

"You freak, tell me what the issue is!" I shouted at him through my tears. Stress isn't good for the twins, what is going on?

"Yacker!" Eddie said, sounding relieved. "What's going on, are you crying?"

I jumped on him with a hug. "Eddie, you will never do that to me again!"

"Do what? I heard some freak talking and for once, Blabs, it wasn't you." He told me.

"I was so worried about you, I won't even get offended. Eddie, you're not allowed to scare me like that again, do you hear me?" I told him, relieved I had my good old Eddie back.

Or should that be my _bad_ old Eddie?

Either way, he kissed the tears off my cheeks.

A coo from the doorway, then soft steps backward and sudden soft running.

*Eddie's P.O.V.*

I kissed Yacker, hearing Trudy coo at us from the doorway. Then I heard her light steps as she shot off upstairs.

I focused on my Yackball. She curled up in my lap and snuggled down. She never enjoyed snuggling, but if she wanted to, I wasn't gonna complain.

"Y'know, for a rebel bad guy, you're sweet, warm and cuddly." Yacker said, closing those beautiful blue-grey eyes.

She was asleep in no time flat. I held her there until the clock struck ten, then I put her in her bed in True's room. Her roommate was sleeping, buried in her pillow. She didn't wake up unless someone sloshed water on her or her alarm went off.

I kissed my Yacker before leaving. I was dead on my feet now, unable to even bother pranking Trudy.

Wow, you can tell when I'm tired, I don't wanna pull an easy and hilarious prank, like rig a bucket of freezing water from her pillow and set her alarm for five minutes ahead, escape and when the thing goes off, she wakes up, gets drenched, squeals and wakes everyone.

More fun when you see it.

I went to bed, and I was out the second my head touched the pillow.

I woke up to the delicious smell of blueberry pancakes, freshly made blueberry juice and blueberry porridge. True makes the creamiest porridge available, using thick, creamy milk, then she gets home-grown oats and makes it herself. She's never done anything bad to us all. She never would.

She bakes her own bread, her own cakes and cookies, manages to make butter by herself, too.

Yacker was in there, eating for three. She munched away, making Trudy laugh. There was bacon, egg, sausage and baked beans as well.

My girlfriend's plate was piled so high, I was surprised at her eating ability. She ate more, then once she'd cleared that, she ate a full fried breakfast, downing loads of blueberry juice. Then she went to the kitchen, grabbed a six-pack of prawn cocktail crisps.

She ate all the six packets, much to the amazement of everyone watching her, including me. I've never seen someone eat that much. Even women eating for three.

I received amazed looks and smiles. Yacker was so busy, she was practically swallowing the crisps whole and not even chewing them.

It was amazing, seeing the capacity of my Yackball's eating. She has a pretty big mouth, but God, she has a huge appetite to match.

We ended up in school, her still hungry.

I was shocked. After what she'd just eaten, how could she be hungry? She'd eaten enough for the whole house!

The teacher, Harriet, looked at her.

The other girls envied her, but Dad had threatened detention on the first people to be horrible to her.

At lunch, Yacker and I headed home. We needed to give her fresh food. So we tried, but we couldn't find our usual cook.

Blabbermouth went to her room, and came out. She looked emotionally and mentally scarred for life.

"Don't go in there. I just made that mistake." She sounded as scarred as she looked.

I made her a spaghetti and crisps with salad hoagie.

She waited until we both had one, with two chicken BBQ wraps and more prawn cocktail crisps. Then before I'd got mine to my lips, she'd swallowed all of her food. She went and got drinks, before gulping hers down in seconds.

We did get back to school, finding it in basic forms of destruction. Lockers dented and crushed, walls graffiti covered, confetti, glitter and streamers everywhere, pompoms and ties on the floor, the doors pulled off their hinges.

We looked at each other, shocked. Dad was paraded past us by the football team, tied to a stick and gagged.

Blabs looked confused. That was a first.

"What's so confusing?" I asked her.

"Who did I see with...? Oh, OK. Better than it was, but still gross." She replied, musing over something or other.

Something shot at Blabs and hit her in the head. She collapsed.

My girlfriend was knocked out! I looked to see who had done it.

It was...

* * *

**Who is it? You'll find out in the next chapter. :) So, if anyone has more ideas for the Peddie twins names and genders, review or PM me. Until next update, Random Dizzy. :)**


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